TSD and I have hung more than any other guy I’ve dated in the last three months of dating life. He is consistent, texts me daily, we even talk on the phone longer than two minutes- weird, right? I mean it’s 2015- a guy wants to actually have a conversation with me?
He moved into a gorgeous new apartment and I take my overnight bag and ukulele over to hang out and drink wine. He has Blood Diamond on TV going…meh. After a couple of child murders, I’m like “uh can we put on something else?”
He jokes it off but doesn’t change it. We are two glasses in and more murders and blood are occurring of course- I mean both of us have seen the movie too by the way- and I ask again, kind of reaching for the remote saying that it’s really starting to make me queasy and is SO not what we should be watching while drinking and wanting to get snowed in together.
He takes the remote away from me. Says it’s what he was watching before I got here and he wants to finish it. Hmm…that’s kind of odd. A girl came over to your apartment and you are not at all interested in making sure she’s comfortable?
Well it just starts spin balling into me noticing more and more things like that about him. When we start jamming, I realize that we have only played songs he has brought up. Mind you, about half of them I know too and do want to play, but when I mention something or try to give out chords for a different song he does the whole “wait wait, let me just show you one more thing”
I then start calling him out on it. Like “ok haha when are we gonna learn something I know but you don’t?” and he brushed it off “I don’t wanna do that teeny bopper stuff” Wow set dresser, have you not listened at all to me talk about the vast amount of musical genres I enjoy- including ones that we BOTH enjoy but you just may not know the exact song I’m recommending?
***STOP READING HERE IF YOU ARE RELATED TO ME***
It just gets more and more tense. I tell him maybe I should just go to bed. He says ok and takes out a novel. Shit dude. We just lay there not facing each other- me on my phone reading and him in a fantasy novel. Oh and by the way we had sex before this all started getting this weird. So that’s also on my mind. Like, why did I let us get carried away like that? It was that whole- no no we aren’t going to, but ok well it feels so good maybe we should just put a condom on just in case, oh no we should stop shouldn’t we, but it’s practically about to happen let’s just let it happen, what’s the big deal and then BOOM we are going crazy on each other.
The next morning we start cuddling more and getting entangled and kissing heavier and heavier. I give him head and he DOESN’T reciprocate. I brutally call him out this time. I said- you better eat me out before you kick me out. He starts rushing around saying he has to meet some guy somewhere to pick up something blah blah blah. Mother. Fucker.
So that night I invite YTS over to my place. We have a great night. I cook him dinner, he returns my glasses lol and we laugh incredibly loud to a Louis CK comedy special. We start kissing on the couch and move into the bedroom and he IMMEDIATELY starts eating me out and I didn’t last five minutes. Good lord! That never happens to me! This is what I’m talking about! Ryan Gosling made me finish multiple times before heading out at 3am to be at work at 6am. Sucks for him haha but oooooooof when he said my name that night in pleasure. I almost fainted.