I don’t want one night stands. I never go into seeing a guy because I have those intentions. I accept dates with guys after talking with them for a while, sometimes months of talking as with the writer and preppy boy too. Long phone calls like the cop. Daily phone calls with the fireman over a span of a few weeks. Added on facebook immediately by the recovering addict because he was deleting his okcupid account but still wanted to keep messaging with me.
I don’t arrive at dates thinking, oh I’m going to try and get some action tonight. No, I want a relationship. I like these guys. Their personalities. We have been clicking. They are handsome. They made me laugh. They asked me about myself. They were charming.
I met the writer right after the actor. I thought- ok this is my second chance. This guy has SO much substance, creativity and is a grown up. Has a job, is applying for grad school, has a grown up apartment with a bar and a keyboard, wears a suit. He’s younger than me but he is so cute and when he wears his glasses….
The night I met him after months of back and forth and big chunks of just not getting on okcupid, I was at Leon’s checking out the guy that works there. Turns out he’s really short. I end up eye fucking another bartender. Turns out the other bartender NOTICES and asks his friend (the guy I’ve been talking to but have never met) My friend texts me saying umm are you eye fucking the other bartender- he’s 21, did you know that?
I’m already out. I text the writer to come be spontaneous and finally meet me. We go to Victory. I’m already tipsy. I ask him questions I already knew the answer to but I just couldn’t remember or keep straight. Like where did he go to school, does he have siblings.
We kiss at the bar after I tell him it’s hard to not want to kiss him. He shouldn’t have taken me home. He shouldn’t have even let me drive. He actually suggests me just riding with him and walking to MARTA the next morning in midtown. I was like….ew..no.
We drink more at his high rise apartment with gorgeous views. I go back and forth and back and forth about wanting to sleep with him while we are getting intimate. I think….well I lost the actor because I was all reserved. I don’t want to lose another guy so fast.
The next morning he takes FOREVER getting ready so I start exploring his bookcase. I put a little note under his laptop that says “you are so hot. yours, *****”
He lets me borrow one of his books. I love how he underlines things in his book. I think ok he’s gonna see me again. He’ll want his book back duh.
I mention that he hasn’t touched or kissed me ONCE since we woke up. He takes his pointer finger and pokes my arm and says, better???
Gives me a peck at my car in the parking deck and I leave.
I text him a lot. I’m just in bed not working because it’s now Christmas and work is closed. I devour the book. I read his writing online. He’s working a lot. I ask to see him before he goes out of town for the holidays. Too busy.
I ask him to be my date for New Years Eve. He already has plans with friends. I start teasing him that he better watch out or I’ll get swept up by someone else.
He ummm didn’t take too kindly to that.
He stops returning my texts let alone ever answering a random phone call I might try. We are facebook friends, I see him post things daily. I know he can text me back.
He tells me the night that I end up taking a pregnancy test that he wore a condom…wow I can’t even remember I’m thinking…that’s how drunk I was. Classy. He says that being with a girl is like 5th on his priority list. He has his job, family and friends, writing, and grad school applications.
He’s moving soon out of ATL. Don’t know where because he won’t respond to my facebook messages asking how all the applications turned out. I deleted his number two months ago from my phone. To not let there be late night temptation to try and salvage something that never was. I did like him. So much creativity there. He got me writing.