The WORST date I’ve ever been on

About three weeks ago, the first date I went on after the drama that was the set dresser, I went on the WORST FUCKING DATE ever.

He was an artist, super handsome, tall scrawny guy in his early thirties. We matched on okcupid and then again on tinder and that’s when the ball kinda got rolling with conversation because it was like “Oh haha we must like each other with double matches.”

We chatted and he seemed charming and we spoke on the phone and then on a Monday, we facetimed too.

We were having some people over at my house and I told him after we facetimed that after he was done hanging with his buddies, he should swing by and have a beer here too.

He came over and I had had some beers, and it was clear he also had had some beers. We had two more on my porch swing and it seemed to click. He asked if I wanted to go out too. So we went over to a bar five minutes away. He stopped at the gas station to pick up cigarettes..bleh, again? Why do I keep finding the smokers? Set dresser, snowboarder, my four and half year relationship- huge smokers.

gross

We get to the bar and have a shot with some people sitting next to us in a big group. About an hour in red flags started.

He started slurring his words at one point and I teased him about it and mimicked it. He goes, “Is that supposed to be funny?” Umm….

I was like, I’m not being serious, I’m just being flirtatious and teasing you. He says- I don’t like sarcasm, I’m a scorpio. HUH?!

shockedcomm

THEN, a little later he goes, Why do you keep checking out other guys at the bar?

Wait, huh? Why would I do that? I’m here with YOU, I want to be here with YOU, why would I “check out other guys” on our first date, esepcially right in front of you? That doesn’t make any sense.

He says- well you keep looking around when you talk.

Right…I do…because it would be CREEPY to stare at someone you’re talking to every single second.

He says, well I would put my arm around you so people knew we were together, but I just feel like people would wonder ‘well what’s wrong with him, like why is he with someone that looks like that, there must be something weird with his personality I guess.’

ohno

WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?! Someone who “looks like that”???

He goes- Yea well, you know you could lose a few pounds.

shockedjoey

You have GOT TO BE SHITTING ME DUDE. I’m a size 10. Fuck off. Wow. I’m like- that is no freaking way to talk to someone, especially a girl you’re on a freaking first date with.

He says- well do you think you’ll do something about it? I mean, I couldn’t live with myself like that. I mean you’re bigger than ME.

Fuck my ass, really man? Yea- I’m bigger than you, I have curves and you’re a skinny scrawny dude. I’m a beautiful person and I am leaving, this is absolutley inappropriate.

He says- if you leave right now, I’m not paying for this stuff. So you’re basically robbing this bar if you get up and walk out right now.

fuckisthis

Wow….red flags galore. Just wow. Now I’m drunk AND I’m nervous.

I say okkkkkkk, I’m actually just gonna go to the bathroom then actually. But instead I went and found those original people who had the shot with us. Told them what was going on and how uncomfortable he was making me feel and that I just didn’t want to be around him anymore.

The waitress overhears this and explodes. Goes over to him and starts screaming: WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! HOW DARE YOU?! THATS NOT HOW WE FUCKING TALK TO WOMEN IN THIS BAR THATS  A BEAUTIFUL GIRL OVER THERE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GET THE FUCK OUT and etc

HE gets up and gets in her face and starts screaming GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU blah blah blah

tay

He comes around the bar to try and come get me and this big dude gets in his way and is saying- you’re not going near her dude, get out.

He finally storms out. I’m in tears at this point just MORTIFIED. Turns out the big dude is the OWNER of the bar. Tells me to not worry about anything we had to drink, it’s on him and he was so sorry that that had happened to me and got me all the rest of my drinks that night.

I got escorted out to my uber in case that guy was outside. I cried when I got home again. What the fuck just happened to me? How did I let this guy over to my HOUSE and DRIVE me to this bar. How was I so trusting?

I came away from the whole thing learning a lot. But the biggest thing I learned came from my mom’s observation of it all. A couple months ago, when a guy treated me like shit, I put up with it. I made excuses. That night, as SOON as it started, I said no. No this is not happening. I will not stand for this. And when I felt like I couldn’t get out of it safely or ok- I got help. And it worked.

Sometimes I look for his car when I’m leaving my house still. I don’t even remember his name anymore. He was a valet boy. And 32. An “artist”

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