New record y’all!
So the first date, I can’t even remember what he does for a job. Let’s call him the cute Highlands dude. We had been talking for MONTHS on and off. And he never followed through with meeting me. Like why did we even exchange numbers dude?
If I give you my number, we are meeting within a week. Don’t waste my time. Because we might totally not click in person. So this whole text flirting thing is just a waste of time.
I finally gave him an ultimatum after not hearing from him for a few weeks. Take me out tonight or you’re out of my phone. Ok he says.
At dinner with my mom, he texts me he has to cancel and that he knows he blew it. So I go home and I get this text around the time we were supposed to have met. It’s him at a bar with his friends. Ummmmmm.
He says that his work buddies forced him out and I should come and join. And I do……we meet somewhere else though just the two of us.
He’s already pretty buzzed and we proceed to do shots. He’s very touchy and complimentary for someone I’ve known for ten minutes. I tell him not to dare kiss me on the lips at a bar as our first kiss.So he grabs me as soon as we walk out of the door and does it. Eh.
I forced him to allow me drive him home because he is too drunk. It’s like 10:30 at night. He keeps trying to get in my pants in his apartment and I get him to sleep and text Tally guy to come hang out with me somewhere so I can salvage my night.
Next day cute Highlands guy texts me saying sorry he was an ass and he doesn’t remember much. He hasn’t followed up trying to make it up to me. But he does still text me.
So I go out and meet Tally guy who STILL hasn’t kissed me. This will be our fourth time hanging out. He does the same shit as usual, walking away for large chunks of time, knows everyone everywhere but doesn’t really introduce me, doesn’t pay for any of our drinks.
When we go to our second place and he starts doing coke again, I start texting a third guy to come hang out with me. I tell Tally guy I’ve gotta go see a friend and he’s like, cool I’ll come with you. I go to the bathroom to try to strategize how I’ll get out of this.
He still hasn’t kissed me. I don’t even know what this dude wants! To drink with my money? To have a cute girl near him?
I basically just walk back up and give him his shit I was holding for him back and tell him I’ll be right back.
I meet this new guy, let’s call him Young Glasses because I don’t remember what he does either. I was pretty drunk by then, it’s midnight. I’ve never met this guy before. My gf is the bartender at the bar we are at and shots continue again. I can’t really remember much about him but he was a good kisser.
We go back to his SHIT HOLE house. Like six guys living there, walking distance from the bar, mattress on the floor, milk crates holding his clothes. Pass out and he drives me back to my car the next morning.
Haven’t heard much from him since. I wouldn’t wanna go back to that roach place though. Even though he was really cute.
I ummmm had to take the next day off of work to recover from that shit show of lame boys though. Oh, and this huge ass bruise I got on my thigh from trying to crawl on the stage dancing with Tally guy. Thought I had broke something honestly. I’m ok now. Looks like a solar system on my leg. Brutal.