Professional success

I will say with all this personal disgrace and poor life choices dating wise, I am having a lot of professional success. My best art shows I’ve ever had.

I’m so jaded in my dating life. Just really at the bottom. In a future post, I may go into it more. But I currently carry two pepper sprays now because of an incident with a date two months ago. And I still date. I still online date. Even after that.

Chris Pratt came to my art show Friday night. No one’s done that since the set dresser in May. When the TSD came, he was hungover, sat at my booth on his phone, told me I was talking to loud to the shoppers and left before it was over because he felt sick.

When Chris Pratt came, he brought me food and drink. I had been texting him how tired I was starting to feel. Didn’t ask for food and drink but he knew it would hit the spot and picked it up on the way. Dang. Is this what being around a good guy is like?

After the show wrapped up, he walked me to my car and asked if we could have a beer together. It was really nice and I laughed so much with him. Our kisses that night were very sweet and soft. I really hope I get to see him again soon. He was the only person who texted me yesterday asking how my student’s holiday recitals went. A good number of guys I’m dating knew I was doing that yesterday but no one else asked about it.

My roommate says I should stop looking for love. That it will happen when I’m least looking for it. That I deserve a good guy. That’s a big deal coming from him. He’s the roommate that I don’t get along with often.


The army guy

This is from EIGHT MONTHS AGO and looks like it never published……So here you go folks:

It’s pretty good actually- ran into The Beatle and the Chef in this story lol



Met him on Tinder and we were gonna meet a few times in EAV but I was always booked. He said he was gonna be busy a few weeks then so I figured we just probably wouldn’t connect.

Few weeks later, there he is. And we even rematch on tinder, since I deleted it for a bit too. It was like- oh yea I remember how cute he is. Oh yea and he speaks freaking fluent French and Spanish too.


So he asks to meet me at Wrecking Bar…yea the actor is probably gonna be working there that night- a Friday.

I arrive, the army guy is late. Crap there’s the actor. He hasn’t responded to anything I’ve sent him in weeks. Since the last time I had a guy there at that restaurant. He avoids me in the way that he’s like PISSED at me. Not even in the little boy embarrassed way like last time.


Thank GOD he’s not our server. The army guy is cute but I honestly was distracted. But after our second drink he starts winning me over. He has lots of stuff that is interesting about him. Lived in so many countries.

We go to Jack’s afterwards and start kissing at the bar. And I mean kissing. He has no shame. This table next to us even talk about it. I don’t care either honestly. It’s fun and flirtatious. We go out to my car after the bar has closed and my fucking car is dead….battery done. Nothing.

It starts raining. Fucking fuck. Really?


I go tap on a guy’s window who’s waiting in his car and turns out he’s an Uber driver and is required to have jumper cables. The guys fix the car and 25 minutes later I’m handing the uber driver two new lottery scratch offs and 4 bucks…all I had on me.

We kiss more in the car saying goodnight and I start to notice my face is hurting, like it burns a little. Gosh it’s his like army stubble face. He doesn’t have a beard beard. It’s like he has to keep it shaved most of the time, but he hasn’t shaved in a week and it really burns my face and has been rubbing against my skin for like two hours straight now. Ouch.

I go out the next Sunday and have a shitty shit night missing this band I had tickets to see for two months. Never found a date to go with me. They start playing at 9:30…I arrive at 9:50 and they’re on their last song. The Beatle is there. I asked him to go with me. No, he’s going with his dudes. He only says hi to me. But at least he’s the one who told me to get my ass in an uber because they were getting on stage.

I’m pretty disappointed I missed it and dropped $45 and start drinking at the bar and text The Beatle to come over with me. He doesn’t. He doesn’t even say bye to me. I know he sees me there. Maybe he was there with a girl too and I just didn’t notice. Haven’t heard from him since.


I start making friends with the bartender and texting guys to come meet me- I must salvage this night!

The army guys says he lives right around the corner from where I am. Next thing I see two missed calls from him- shit he’s here! I run out of the venue and into his car. I’m pretty wasted already. The bartender sympathized with my story and over poured all my drinks.

We go to Tin Roof Cantina- just over the Dekalb county line so it’s open till 3:30 am NOT midnight like all of the Fulton bars.

We kiss often at the bar. When I go to the restroom, someone grabs my arm- the chef! I told him I might go there…he said he was too tired…crap he MUST have seen me with the army guy. I get caught up talking to the chef and he said he decided to come out and get to-go food. Weird kinda. I mean, I would have gone with him but he declined, and then he shows up anyways hoping to see me there or something?

Then I realize I’ve left the army guy at the bar for like 15 minutes alone! Goddamnit me! I hug the chef and run back and tell him how I had run into a friend.


So just to be clear here….This is the FOURTH guy I’ve dated multiple times that I’ve seen Sunday.

He takes me back home and it’s all a blur honestly. But I do learn that he loves to pleasure his woman. So that was…nice!!!! Yes sir! He was too drunk to receive it back though- you know what I mean, boys. Why is it rare for a guy to actually enjoy going down on a girl? Why is it that ALL girls do it but guys SOMETIMES do it? That’s fucking stupid by the way. End rant on that.

As I’ve been sick at home he’s checked in on me through text. He sends me a picture of his new car- he had been in an accident- and he jokingly asks me what I should nickname “her.”

Then a few hours later I go on tinder and he’s posted the SAME picture and asked the SAME thing on his “moments” (it’s like a thing where you put a picture and caption up and it stays up for 24 hours for people you’re matched with to like or dislike- usually a selfie or a shot of you out with friends etc)

Kinda dumb asking me the SAME question with the SAME pictures dude. Haven’t heard from him since I called him out on that…..




When I started getting serious with the set dresser, I got pissed at him for bailing on plans and invited the army guy over. We made out on the porch swing and I ignored the set dressers phone calls all night.

It started a huge fight because I had “cheated” again except we were not even officially together. Which was confusing and annoying and unfair.

AGAIN- the army guy couldn’t keep it up but he satisfied me well and we had fun and he even took me out to dinner AFTER the hookup and let me say goodnight at the car instead of letting him back up for more.


He moved. To another country. Learned about it not from him, but from a Tinder moment where he said “goodbye ATL!”

The Porter Guy

So my best friend and I are at The Porter inĀ  Little Five Points. Cute guy sitting next to us on a date.

Get home later, this guy has messaged me on okcupid- Were you just at the Porter? I kept looking at you every time my date walked away which I know is bad.

Anyways- we start chatting and we end up meeting at like midnight later that night! I was already in my pjs and everything. But I like spontaneity. And he’s handsome.


We meet and bar hop around L5P bars and hit it off. He tells me he hasn’t had many second dates. So….why?

Well turns out he’s 30 and just gotten his first real job, just moved out of his parents and also lost almost 200 lbs this year. Woah. He shows me a picture of what he used to look like and it’s unreal. Just not the same person.

He was something like 315? So his confidence levels, his suaveness on dates- really non existent because he’s never really dated until this year.

He asks to kiss me, but I decline and say I’d like to wait. At the end of the night he asks again and we do, but he’s too handsy and his tongue is all over the place. How many girls has he actually kisses……..?


He’s very sweet though and I accept a dinner date with him the next week. I haven’t laughed so much with someone in a long time. We are really hitting it off. He looks like Chris Pratt a little bit I figure out.

We see some comedy with that same best friend I was out with and have a good time. The kiss at the end of the night was short and sweet and better…..but it’s because Tally guy was there! He shows up at comedy too and asks me to go out with him to another bar.

When I say Oh I’m hanging out with my friends I guess he heads out. When I’m at the car kissing Chris Pratt goodnight- he’s right there! Tally guy. Ooops?


Third time I hang out with Pratt, we watch the Walking Dead at a local bar and don’t get much time to talk. He was more awkward this time. Making fun of me being in the drama club in high school and joking about how competitions for drama could even exist and who even goes to stuff like that. I didn’t get it.


I also ate something too spicy for me and he over joked about that too. After returning from the bathroom at one point, he had already paid his own tab and said he was heading out. Guess we weren’t on a date? I give him a peck and haven’t seen him since. We text but…..I don’t know. It’s just off for some reason…..

The set dresser is on set

So I don’t hear from TSD so often anymore. He’s been back at work the last two weeks. I knew that was coming of course. But it’s weird to be in the thick of it. I get he’s doing 12 hour days…but I’d like to hear from him sometimes maybe. Even just a text??

We did hang out the ENTIRE day on his ONE day off. Sunday. I think that’s a nice sign. He came all the way up to my mom’s where I was housesitting to get me and then we ate too many tacos and passed out back at his place.

He looked at me while kissing and tells me that he really likes me. That’s different for him. It was nice. He said it was nice seeing me.


We swung on my front porch in the sun and we went shopping for him for some new clothes. I do think I like him the most. He makes me laugh. I like giving him shit about things. We tease a lot. We fit. But he’s…well you know…distant too. I mentioned to him it’s been an entire month now that we’ve been dating.

He called me today. He found out I had been out of work sick the last four days through texting. Now I know he gets off at 6pm. He could have called those other days maybe too…it’s not that hard.

But you know what- I’ve been dating other people. Met three new people last week:

The other sound guy

The enviormentalist

The army guy (HIM I LIKE)

Wanted vs. Unwanted

Today I feel crumby. It’s grey out so that might be affecting it. But sometimes I feel like I’m constantly bordering the line of feeling wanted in the world and unwanted.


But here’s the thing, I will always be both. The guys that I really want- don’t want me. Which makes me just want them even more. The guys that bug the shit out of me and message and text me all the time- I don’t want. It’s annoying to me. So they want me MORE because I’m not giving them the full amount of attention they want.

Am I THAT GIRL to some of the guys that I’ve been dating? The annoying one who keeps randomly texting them, trying. But it would be better if I just stopped?

Maybe I should start deleting numbers out of my phone again. Then I won’t desperately text someone that I’ve gone out with only a few times asking if they want to hang out.

If a guy wants to hang out with me- he’ll ask. Otherwise, he’s just not that into me, is he? That god damn cute book.


I’m gonna go work out. I want to say I will take some time off of dating and focus on myself- who am I kidding lol. Lose weight again. Eat better. Eliminate TRYING so hard. Be “busy.”

Ugh I ate ramen noodles at 10pm last night for dinner……


Today is the snowboarder’s birthday. And the artist’s. The snowboarder hasn’t responded to me in a day. I offered to be there at midnight when his birthday starts and kiss him to start his new year of life off in a beautiful way.

I wished the artist happy birthday on a text today. We keep saying we will get together but we don’t. Last time I saw him was a couple weeks ago when we went to an estate sale together and bought supplies. I don’t really see any potential there except for a friend. We slept together the first night we met.


I honestly don’t even like his art. It’s too abstract for me. But he eats up vintage things like me. We would ogle at old letters in the basement of this house together. Try on old clothes.

Honestly, I was mean to him that day- by accident. He opened up about something or other and I blurted out that I was surprised he had so much substance because he kind of just seemed like a player party boy. He did not take that well. Duh. Why would someone ever say that to someone? “Oh wow you AREN’T a total dumbass, you have cool interests and things to offer!”


So. Smooth.

But we still talk pretty often through text. We may paint together in the future. He has a cool studio in his attic.

Love is art Hero 1 IIHIH

Writing in TSD’s living room

Last night I was with TSD jamming and singing along to his playing. We’ve had some really big ups and downs the last couple of days. I was sitting there with his binder of lyrics of songs he wants to learn and he has put songs I want to learn in there too. Asked him for some blank papers because he’s been encouraging me to compose and write.

Pulled my inspiration from Daughter and Minus the Bear lyrics.

Love, hunt me down

Make me yours

You know how I’m all over town

I put out that trap for you but just got myself caught

Caught up in you

Longing for more of those sweet little things you let slip every once in a while

I remember the first time you called me darling