Tally guy

Tally as in Tallahasseee. I’m a Tallahassee Lassie actually so me and this guy have many mutual friends.

Last week we met up last minute to see some stand up comedy. When he came and sat next to me at the bar, he got up and just walked away after a few minutes. I literally thought, ok he hates me and he’s just leaving- ok…..

But he went outside to smoke…..but he didn’t say anything! I mean I know we were watching a show, but wouldn’t you say something? Like Hey I’ll be right back.

When he got back he recognized the two people next to me as Tally people too and we all went outside and chatted and reminisced of the good ol capital city.

We all stuck together all night. So I actually never had a conversation with him. I figured he was just more comfortable with that. And I did like that couple we were with. My second time ever at the Clairmont Lounge too!

AGAIN- he walked away from me there. Just started wondering off. For like ten minutes!

Is he high?

We went to another bar across the street and he did it again! No saying anything- just strolling away. Leaving me with his two friends who were slowly becomming my friends too.

When we all went back to his friend’s house after the bars closed I’m thinking ok it’s 3am and we’ve been together since 9:30 so he must be getting really annoyed with me or is really just shy because I CANNOT tell if he’s into me at all still. I say I’m gonna uber home but he says no no I’ll drive you.

A bro hug. It’s 5 am and I was given a bro hug. After like over 7 hours of hanging out.

Yep this guy’s not into me.

But then he texts when I get home and I call him out on it- you know you could have kissed me. He says he didn’t get that vibe from me!

I don’t even hear from him all week so I just start figuring that was an excuse. No big deal.

But then he calls me this week and decide to meet up at another comedy show. Again- the disappearing thing. Over and over. This time, there are no people to distract me as much like last time. The standing around by myself is like unbearably weird.

I go back to his place- a shit show- his place, not me. I pass out and we both kept our clothes on the entire time. He doesn’t try ANYTHING. I’m so confused. He says he likes to take it slow. We finally cuddle after what seems like hours of both of us being awake but just lying there with our eyes closed awkwardly.

The next morning he makes me coffee and eggs and drives me back to my car. Takes my hand and kisses it. While he’s on the phone….Like it’s a sweet gesture but I was like GET OFF THE PHONE.

He texts me later that he looks forward to next time.

I don’t know……we’ll see.

The lawyer

I met this recent law school grad on okcupid and then we also connected later on tinder and the ball started rolling with our conversation.

We had a sushi dinner and I really loved how much he had traveled the world. He was also ex military, and I respect that a lot.

After dinner, we were having such fun conversation, we decided to have a drink at the bar next door too. I asked him there who the little baby girl in his pictures were. His niece?

Nope. That’s his daughter. Huh….could’ve mentioned that by now dude.

The night continued and he asked if it was ok to kiss me goodnight. Wow I thought. Someone is asking permission to touch me, this i new. The kiss was so polite and gentle, my initial reaction was that it was weird. But then I realized, that is the abuse leaking over into my thought process of how people should treat each other. Fuck.

We hung out two more times that week. Dave and busters, korean BBQ. Such fun dates. He kissed me in public. That was new. I forgot that that is also NOT a weird thing to do. Or to hold hands. Oof…. I am so skewed still, damint.

Some weird things came to light though over the dates. Like that he was still married and still getting through the divorce. That he’d been separated since August but it might be another year till the divorce goes through.

On our third date, his sister and her boyfriend joined us. They were so lovely. I actually liked him even more after having dinner with them all because I was like- OH so he isn’t weird. They are totally normal, she just got her Phd and he’s a bartender at an amazing place. It made me think, you know maybe this lawyer just got caught in some bad circumstances.

Me and him stayed for one more glass of wine after dinner and I said Happy Father’s Day to him. He said- Oh well yea it’s too bad though because I didn’t get to see my children today actually.

Children? As in plural. Oh right- yea he didn’t want to scare me off he says so he didn’t bring up his other TWO children. Two boys 8 and 9. So he has a baby girl AND two children. And he only gets to see them once a month. Huh….

I was really unsure about seeing him again. When he asked me to go to the Shakespeare Tavern though, I was like DAMN yes please. I’ve nbere been taken there! By the time my work day was over though, we were both running late and we missed the beginning of the show and just decided to grab dinner instead.

Turns out his job he had started and was only three days into already laid him off that afternoon. Because he failed his criminal background check!

Whaaaaaat? And he doesn’t go into what it was! So I finally blurted out- ummm are you going to share what criminal or arrest history you have with me, or what? It wasn’t THAT bad but like STILL…Possession of marijuana when he was 18.

Later on too, he tells me his lawyer has advised him that we don’t date. That he can’t get into a relationship. That it can be used against him. But that he still wants to hang out. I’m just like at this point…..so. many. red. flags.

He ends up getting really hammered that night. Doing multiple shots that I didn’t join him on. Who does shots alone?

I’m trying to wane my way off answering his texts but turns out he left his gucci sunglasses in my car. Oof. He’s so handsome too. It’s such a shame.

Summer lovin: The model part 2

So I get pretty sick as many of you know right at the end of the summer. I’m pretty MIA and when the model comes into town in September…yes…I was MIA a while….I tell him he can come on over to my place.

I’m still not feeling well and tell him before he arrives that I’m not interested in doing anything intimate, no drinking, nothing. He proceeds to act like a total asshole pushing me and pushing me to do things in bed with him. To the point that I ask him to leave. I tell him I’ll call him but I don’t plan on it. I mean I’ve never ever had to ask a guy to leave.

I don’t answer his texts. His calls. He’s getting pissed.

Couple months go by and he starts telling me that photos we have exchanged…which I honestly don’t remember what they were…he tells me he’s going to post them online. Wow. Just wow. I’m being threatened.

So from having a crazy fun spontaneous first date to being threatened to be posted on porn websites….awesome job me. I sure know how to pick ’em.

Needless to say I stopped dating September through the end of December.

Wheelchair BMW driver — The architect

Ok when I was thinking of his code name….I did it all wrong. I feel like a racist or something calling him the wheelchair. Just because he’s in a wheelchair- that’s how I’m going to identify him? I’m such an asshole. No, he is the architect. He’s way more than one physical feature of him.

When the architect and I met on okcupid we spoke for a week and I decided to give him my number. His profile really stood out to me I remember because he was very confident and basically called out girls that would message him out of pity. And his knowledge of nice legit ATL restaurants spot on.

The architect has been every where in ATL that I want to go to eat. He goes to restaurants on the weekend they open. He knows his shit.

After I give him my number he doesn’t use it. I’m thinking oh meh I guess he’s not interested then. But he explains that he will text me when we’ve been talking long enough. Ok- I can do that.

Two weeks later I am running late to Krog Street Market to meet him. It’s raining. He moved where we were going to meet because the first place, although they were accessible, they were not comfortable accessible he explains. I can’t imagine….having to call a restaurant before a first date to ask them about their accessibility? Said it wouldn’t have been good for him to have to squeeze into this small place he had first picked.

He’s cute. Has a gold chain on…meh not my thing- a little guido if you ask me. We get our name on the list at Craft Izakaya and decide to go grab a beer at Hop City. It’s a tall bar you walk up to and they have like 30 drafts. People watch us. It’s different, but I don’t mind it actually. I hold our beers while we try to find a seat. He is really strong actually, constantly using his arms to push himself around.

Dinner was unbelievably Delicious. We laugh a lot. He tells me I’m a hot date. We go back to Hop City after and have another drink even because we are enjoying each other so much. I tell him I want him to show me how he drives his car. So we go out to the parking garage and he has to teach me how to entirely take apart his wheelchair and put it in his BMW trunk so I can sit with him in the passenger seat.

I was actually nervous. What if I fuck this up? He even has a laminated tutorial in the trunk for his friends and family when they do this for him. When he’s alone, he undoes the wheelchair wheels and what not and puts it next to him in the passenger seat. I realize as I’m bending over trying to figure out how it all comes apart that he’s checking me out. I got a huge rush of excitement run through me catching him like that.

He takes me to my car and I realize I don’t have my phone…..do you see a fucking trend of this or is it just me…..when I get out of the car, I go to the trunk and move his wheelchair back to his passenger seat. OK how is our first kiss going to work? I’m not sitting next to him anymore….should I go over to the driver window and lean in? Does he even want to kiss me? He has to.

I go around to the driver side and right before I am going to lean in for the first kiss—I see my phone…..in a puddle next to my car……It has been sitting in that puddle all through dinner, probably fell out of my lap as I got out of my car. Shit.

We laugh about it and he says “you can kiss me now, you know” and I do.

He offers to have me follow him back to my place since I didn’t have my GPS. When I get home, I lean in again and kiss him. We kiss a little longer this time. He wanted to go out longer and try another bar, without my phone and all I don’t know I just wasn’t feeling it.

He asked me out again the next day for that next Wednesday. When I woke up that day I was having an allergic reaction to something or other I ate and my entire face is all puffed up and red, my eyes are swollen shut. I explain and cancel- I think he thought I was blowing him off though.

He adds me on facebook and we chat once or twice more but he kind of fades away. His pictures on his facebook are him at nightclubs with big groups, beautiful girls sitting in his lap. He told me he gets asked a lot by wasted people if he is sexually capable- but not in those terms. More in blunt rude terms. I never asked him after hearing him say that. If he wants to tell me, he will I decided.

I started thinking about him after seeing him post on facebook pictures of new restaurants he was trying like Cokentrice and Illegal Food so I text him and ask if I could twist his arm to try to go to Pallookaville again like we were for our second date. No twisting necessary he says.

We were planning on going out tonight. The snow was supposed to come here yesterday and today so I started thinking we may have to reschedule AGAIN which really may put a nail in the coffin to it all.

Well to pull from another post I’m about to do- I’m out with the set dresser Wednesday after spending the night together for the first time, we have grabbed breakfast, went to IKEA to shop for his new apartment and decide we will get snowed in together- so Publix is next. Our cart is full, we are flirting and touching every once in a while, laughing. He’s a little further down the aisle when I notice a guy in a wheelchair out of the corner of my eye looking at the same things on the shelves as me. It happens in like 3 seconds, but literally I did go through the whole thought process of- well I only know ONE person in a wheelchair– there’s no way the architect is next to me right now, RIGHT? I look over and his name bursts out of me with a surprised smile.

Wow- he looks good. Like really good. He has this full beard now. I tell him I was just going to have texted him about dinner and what not with the weather. Tell him I’m shopping with a friend and gesture towards where the set dresser is but he doesn’t take his eyes off me. We decide to move our dinner to the weekend and we say bye.

The set dresser walks up closer to me and asks who that was. I said well it’s someone I’ve dated. Couldn’t read his reaction really….intrigue? Not jealousy. IDK…

I text the architect later that day and say I was so happy to see him. He tells me that he had actually seen me earlier in the store and was checking me out from behind but didn’t see it was me. Says he loves a girl in boots and a dress. I tell him he looked incredibly handsome to me too and I’m hoping to see him again.